Interior design is such a give-and-take.
At one end, you think you get it. You believe that this was your hidden calling. You were meant to do it because you have a particular style that is unmatched. Boy, does knowing that you have found an unfound talent just makes you feel excited. You start with a vision, taking small ideas here and there, thinking that maybe you’ll get your own HGTV tv show. People are going to ask you for advice on how to decorate. I mean, that’s pretty cool. You’re going to be a celebrity. Gathering all the items you have in your house, you start putting them up. A little here, a little there, one by one, it’s looking great. It’s an actual good-looking room! It looks really original, and internally you think, “maybe I can do this full-time.”
You take a step back and get a look at what you made.
And all that confidence throws itself out your window.
It’s so-so.
It’s not even like the vision you once had. Yeah, you couldn’t get the right picture right above your mantle you wanted, but you thought that portrait of your Aunt Nancy would suffice.
I mean, it’s not even completed. There’s a spare hole over there. You tried filling it up with something but couldn’t figure out what to put in there. Also, the rug you got wasn’t the right size, and you just don’t even have the budget to get another one.
You try moving stuff around, but it isn’t quite there. It’s not even close to being there. It’s so far from there. It’s just here. Drab.
You wanted your own Martha Stewart vibe, and your result was a Shein version of what you thought. It looks so cheap. It’s not even close to representing your style. You already don’t want to be there.
Maybe it isn’t just that one room but the whole house/apartment. Perhaps you thought of charming and cool decoration ideas; in reality, you just have an uncompleted home. Or even worse, a shitty DIY house.
You really, really thought you could save your home with macramé wall art, but now your home screams of someone that thought they could craft.
Ew.
So you’re now a new version of yourself, a version that you thought you could, but now you’re too disappointed and tired to really try. So what are you going to do? You can’t move out and do this all over, and this is your home. You can’t look like you just came from college and can’t afford to live. Capitalism might be a detriment to society, but it doesn’t have to look like you’re suffering from it. You’re you, and in the home you have, you should be allowed to show that. Because at one point, you were the same person who came into the home and thought you could make it represent your soul.
So what are you going to do?
Conquer it.
When has life been easy for you to handle? And when it was easy, was it really rewarding? Decorating is definitely a difficult passage, and the first time will not always be perfect.
The first thing to note, be patient.
Unless you’re a trust fund kid, you’re probably working. Money has to be in your life somehow for you to be able to have a home, so focusing on decorating can’t be taking up all of your time. So your time needs to be spent ensuring you’re going to live. THAT’S OK! It’ll be there when you get back. Be kind to yourself, and know that something good, something REALLY good, doesn’t happen in one day. If it did, it wouldn’t be good.
Take your time understanding what you want. Put some artwork up, then put it down, and switch it for something else. Maybe that spot didn’t need art but needed a shelf. Play around with what you want. Also, play around with what you don’t want because that might be something you like.
Take my living room for example. It’s still not done. It might not ever be done. I have shelves in the corner that are taking up space, and I have some ugly Ikea shoe shelf that is grossing me out (my old neighbor gave it to me, and for a good reason). The blue rug, although my favorite piece in my whole house, is just a tad too small, and my couch is just not right. However, with my resources, I decided to focus on one thing; playing around with my wall. I decided to put up the art that truly inspires me and see if that would inspire me how to decorate the rest of the house.
And in a couple of months, I know that I might not want that. I might want something entirely different for my living room. But for right now, I am letting whatever speaks to me speak to me.
For the holiday season, I went simple and eco-friendly by making an orange garland from the oranges that grow in my backyard and a pom pom garland using the leftover yarn I found in my craft drawer. The simple look of the garlands gives the room some class and brings some focus to the top of the room, so I would like to play around with that.
Or I might not. I’m allowing myself to have patience and wait and see.
Having creative juices to decorate and do everything else that needs to be done in life is tough. Sometimes I am inspired by an excellent craft to use to decorate my home, and other times I am horribly embarrassed and disgusted by doing said craft. Sometimes that craft might be a fantastic idea, but it throws off the whole layout of the house or, even worse, throws off the design of the home around that.
But that also leads me to my next point; keep a theme.
It might seem like an obvious statement, but keeping a theme for your rooms is hard to stick by and might be extremely helpful when drawing a blank. When I was a kid, I had always dreamed about having each room be its own theme, with a zen bedroom, a modernized living room, a kooky kitchen, etc. While my childhood vision was overkill, having a guide might save you from looking like a hoarder.
Now I am following a loose theme. The living room is 70s movie, the office is dark industrial, but that all might change. The shoulds, is, and maybes leave your lexicon because instead of being apprehensive, you have a vision of what you want. Even though it might seem cool, it isn’t part of the vision.
But, if something caught your eye, I mean REALLY caught your eye, what do you do then?
Take a breath.
Take a breath is similar to being patient but with a bit of spice. Sometimes we find things that really inspire us, that really speak to our core. It might be cheap or a million dollars, but it’s definitely something you want, so what are you to do. WAIT. JUST WAIT. If it’s meant to be yours, it’ll be there when you want it. Similar to fashion trends, people tend to follow what is cool and popular, but truthfully those moments go out of style. With it going out of style, sometimes that passion diminishes as well. What you think is cool might be following a decorating trend. Wait and see if it is genuinely what you want.
As much as many people would hate to admit it, money doesn’t equal taste.
Ye might be a Nazi, but he’s also a loser with no taste. His home is like a magical unicorn took all the color and happiness from a room. It is soulless and dull, but it costs a lot of money to do it. Just because it cost a lot does not mean it was worth it. Price loves to follow popularity, but sometimes taste stays on its own island. Follow your intuition, and you’ll honestly know what you really want.
When my husband and I looked into couches, I was head over heels for the CB2 couch. I liked the idea of being able to fully sleep on a couch, and I loved the idea of being cozy because I would be completely horizontal on the fluffiest softest couch of all time. Unfortunately, the truth was that we couldn’t afford it, but we were able to get a yellow Living Spaces couch instead. It’s weird, but it does the trick and gives the rest of the living room some character. Would I stay utterly loyal to that couch? Probably not, but that’s because I am letting myself know that not everything is finite.
Shop and style with intention, but also know it doesn’t have to be your permanent choice. Sometimes styles change, sometimes looks come and go, and sometimes you get sick of it. It’s ok to change things up, but remember to be mindful of those items.
Bring the item into your home, style it, love it, be bored with it, and when you feel done with it, thank it for everything it gave you. Thank it for the memories, and thank it for being there for you when you were happy and when you were sad. Instead of throwing it away or giving it to a thrift store, find mindful ways to give it a new home. Sell it, offer it to a friend or family member, or give it to a nonprofit. Thrift stores have been overcrowded since the global pandemic, so giving your unwanted item to them will probably just go to a landfill. Be mindful of that.
My husband and I will have a yard sale to find new homes for our items. They are perfectly good and useful things. There just isn’t any room for it, so there isn’t much need. If we’re unable to get rid of them by selling, we’ll try giving them to friends. We appreciated what they gave us, but we’re ready to move on.
When decorating your house, these suggested snippets are the best way to be kind to yourself as you find your home. Finding yourself and your style took some time, so finding the home to truly make it yours will take some time too. It’s all about being kind to yourself and knowing it will take time.
It’s still taking time for me, and that’s ok.
If it’s ok for me, it’s certainly ok for you.
